Kitty math.

Maybe it seems a bit stupid but, when I wake up in the morning I have a small bundle of fur curled up beside me (or on top of me). If I just look over at the bundle it is enough to elicit a reaction and a head turn in my direction to see if I have opened my eyes.

Then, the purring starts. It is loud, so very loud the purring, and seems unending.

If I lie back and prompt it by tapping upon my chest slowly, hesitantly the fur bundle will crawl up on top of me and get comfortable. It is a dangerous moment in the day because the small, radiantly warm package purring away atop me can be enough to lure me back into the world of dreamland once more.

I lie there on the precipice of the day and my mind is gloriously free of all worry as my focus is only on the delicious heat and soothing noise coming from this little being perched on me. Sometimes I do fall back asleep, only to wake hours later with my companion still in the same position but, if the urgency of the day seizes me, after some perfunctory petting, all I need do is make it apparent with some minor urging and she alights from me and says good morning in the unfathomable language of the feline.

I am followed to the kitchen as we both make our journey into the land of wakening.

Breakfast follows, more petting and purring. There is some exploring which needs to be done to see if the house has undergone some serious transformation since its last inspection. All this needs to be fit in before the after breakfast nap.

The thing that amazes me is how such a little creature can fill the beginning of my day with such an abundance of joy, truly one of the most remarkable equations of kitty math.

Is this indicative of a wave of change?

I saw this news article about a book burning and had to pass it along. Makes me think in some ways of Fahrenheit 451 although it is less about censorship and more about subtle changes occurring in society:

“This is the funeral pyre for thought in America today,” Wayne told spectators outside his bookstore as he lit the first batch of books.

The fire blazed for about 50 minutes before the Kansas City Fire Department put it out because Wayne didn’t have a permit for burning.

Speaking of.

Al Goldstein, I did some poking around and found his blog! It is definitely a must-read as Al hasn’t lost any of the piss and vinegar that made him so entertaining!

The arrogance of the new generation, with their new tech breakthroughs, is astonishing. Like assholes, everyone these days has a blog and an opinion. People with no knowledge or expertise on anything pontificate about everything. Just because you have a website doesn’t mean you know anything other than you should wipe your ass after you take a shit – and I believe many of these tech-yuppies forget to do that. It is the blind leading the blind, the ignorant leading the ignorant, and this is what our government is based on. How did George W. Bush become president when he never went to a foreign country? His advisors were as dumb and provincial as he is.

And you bloggers are equally as dumb. Why do you lay upon us your ignorance, your pomposity and conceit? I want to learn from an expert, from an authority, those who know more than me. I am not interested in learning from you vermin. It would be like you trying to teach me how to eat pussy when I had sex with over 7000 women. You have had five and had to pay for each of them. It’s a world with no criteria, evaluation or grades. These people who are telling us what to think believe that the world is flat and women are afraid of sex. They are trying to interpret a world they do not and cannot understand.

You SUCK!

I order stuff online, I don’t have any trepidation about it anymore and for the most part I’ve had pretty decent experiences. Last month I spent an inordinate amount of time straightening out a royal f**k up by Amazon but, I’ll give them credit, they really did go out of their way to placate me for bad service.

I ordered a ladder through Amazon, got a decent price (even though I found it for cheaper later), waited for the thing to come... and waited... and waited. It showed up as having shipped but the thing was it wasn’t coming through UPS, FedEx or USPS. Amazon had to send it through some freight shipper and they were just clowns, there’s no other way to put it.

The thing wound up out at JFK a day or two after leaving Ohio and then you couldn’t get through to these people. If you didn’t call them after 9am or before 5pm you were sh*t out of luck and even during business hours there were times the phone would just go unanswered, add to the fact they didn’t have any kind of voicemail. It just goes on and on and on and I would rather not even get into what it took to get this whole thing straightened out.

I wound up sending a few emails to Amazon and speaking to some people over there (as I said the shipper was just useless) and they really did try very hard to make things right. As it wound up they reimbursed me for shipping and refunded a good portion of the cost of the ladder so I wasn’t in a position to complain. Well, maybe I was in a position to complain but, you could see they were really trying and I appreciated they kicked back the money they did to compensate for the aggravation.

Recently I ordered some books (comic books) through another website. I know they do a lot of business on eBay and I believe I even bought something from them on eBay about 7 years ago but, this is the first time I’ve ever ordered anything directly from their site - I ordered the thing as a preorder, two months before the book came out. I didn’t even think too much about it until the other day when I got an email saying the things were shipping. A few days later I went to pick up my mail and found a flat there waiting for me (among other things), I opened the flat up later on when I got home. There was an invoice in the envelope and some other promotional material but the books I had ordered weren’t in the envelope. Just an invoice (packing slip) and this other crap.

I sent the people an email - they said they would refund my money but, it wasn’t the money I wanted, I paid for the books. Of course in the interim they said they no longer had any stock on the books. I won’t dignify them by providing a link to their site but I certainly won’t order from them ever again. In the meantime, if I had just used the local guy I usually go to I would have gotten the book but I figured since they are the distributor of choice for Dark Horse I was guaranteed getting the book(s).

So, in the spirit of the old Al Goldstein moments on Midnight Blue, F*CK YOU TFAW.COM. Though your website states: Welcome. You've arrived at the best online store for comic books, manga, anime and pop culture collectibles! The truth is you really must be from another world if you’re buying into your own hype because your service leaves plenty to be desired.

Cat care lesson #23.


Always check the box of recycling before putting it at curbside. Kitties are not to be recycled!

Baseball self-denial?

After years of being lorded over by Yankee fans one has to excuse me if I find the disconnect going on this season between the Yankee fan and the team’s performance nothing short of amazing. Hearing all the sports talk radio in New York beseiged by Yankee fans still confident they will somehow reach the post-season is akin to the denial of our current president.

How bad are the Yankees this year?

Well, as of the end of play today, the Pittsburgh Pirates have a better win/loss record then the Yankees - and I’m sure the fans in Pittsburgh aren’t kidding themselves that a wild card shot is in the offing.

The return of the Bionic Woman.

If you came of age in my day, there was a certain quality to television that is long since absent. I found an old newspaper when I was cleaning out things the other day and it was interesting just to look at it as a bit of a curio – if only to get a sense of how much the world has changed on so many different levels.

The paper was from ’81 or thereabouts which doesn’t seem too long ago until I realize it’s over 25 years!

Looking through the TV listings you see the choices were much more limited than they are now. Now, TV is a 24/7 cacophony of information and mindlessness attacking the senses constantly but, even as recently as 1981 that wasn’t the case. There weren’t three cable news channels and there wasn’t even much in the way of cable. MTV was still just a heartbeat away and still hadn’t pervaded society as it would a few years later. Most of TV was just broadcast and while NY had a bigger selection of channels (a whopping 7), most of them went off the air sometime between 1 and 3am.

There wasn’t a 24-hour news cycle, there weren’t cellphones, faxes, email. People just weren’t that connected constantly.

Anyway, what bought the time to mind was seeing how TV is recycling another one of its old ideas. This time they are bringing back the Bionic Woman that at the time of original broadcast was a pretty big deal (along with The Six Million Dollar Man). It makes me wonder what other ideas TV might regurgitate on today’s audience.

TV runs in cycles though and I was thinking about that period from 1970 to 1980 when I did some exploring on YouTube and came across some of those old shows. Shows that were fairly popular in their day but, shows now largely forgotten. There were a bunch of SciFi imports from England:

Space 1999:

Eight years past 1999 and the moon is still fixed in orbit. Plus, we sure don’t seem to be conquering space’s vistas the way we envisioned.


UFO:

Funny if only one can explain why all the woman in the space station needed to wear purple wigs.


The Six Million Dollar Man:

What would the price be when adjusted for inflation?


Love American Style featuring the pilot for what would become Happy Days:

I actually remember this episode in particular for very specific reasons that have nothing to do with TV.


Room 222:

A favorite of mine when I was a kid. Plus it had Karen Valentine in it (who is 60?!?!?!).


The Mod Squad:

Too funny to watch in retrospect.


It Takes A Thief:

Robert Wagner’s take on Cary Grant.


Mannix:

This was on every Saturday night when I was over my grandparents. I remember it as being progressive because of the dynamic between Mannix and Peggy Fair.


Cannon:

A Quinn Martin production!


The Mystery Movie:

There was a time when these filled up NBC’s broadcast schedule.

As a matter of fact, a lot of the seventies were taken up by ‘cop shows.’ It was the wave of the seventies that makes me wonder if it will ever have a big comeback and take over the TV schedule the way reality programming or game shows have over the last few years.

There were a few other shows like The Name of The Game and another show which though it ran briefly is interesting in the way it presents technology:

Crazy kitty = regular kitty.

Cat owners will tell you about those moments when cats suddenly will have incredible bursts of energy. It manifests itself in different ways depending upon the cat; a sudden dash across the room for no explainable reason, a sharpening of claws real or pretend. Usually cats’ pupils will be opened wide and they will have this look about their faces of surprise and earnestness.

Anna is no different, there are times she will come nosing around and if I make any move she will be off like a shot. There is an almost cartoon-like quality as you hear the scratching of nails as she tries to build up speed before running the length of the house.

I know the secret now though.

See, whenever one of these moments strikes her I know it’s time to check the litter box.

These bursts of energy, these moments of extreme playfulness, are all in celebration of kitty suddenly feeling ‘lighter.’ In other words, kitty is celebrating the occasion of a good dump.

A mighty wind.

So, I keep trying to write about tornados.


See, a week ago Wednesday to be precise, I managed to once again come very close to some awful weather malady.

Last year, I wound up criss-crossing the path an F2 tornado took no less than three times about 15 or 20 minutes before it struck.

No sh*t!

It was another one of those times when I was blissfully ignorant of something until after the fact.


That day I was driving down the Saw Mill River Parkway getting off to go down to Tarrytown to pick up the mail on my way into the city. The red line on the image is the path the tornado took, I was going down the purple road and then across the green road where it has the callout about tree damage.

On July 12, 2006 a strong south westerly wind on the surface acted in conjunction with a strong upper level jet to cause conditions to become ripe. The tornado spawned as a waterspout over the Hudson River in the southwest quadrant of the storm and traveled in the northeast direction, something that is distinctive with most tornado causing thunderstorms. Once it reached the Westchester side of the river it became a Tornado and roared up Beekman Ave., the Main Street of Sleepy Hollow. The tornado reached F-2 status as it crossed over the Sleepy Hollow village line into Hawthorne. From there it tore across Hawthorne, New York, destroying a California Closets office and warehouse. It then proceeded up Stevens Ave. and crossed into Valhalla, New York inflicting much damage. It finally crossed the Kensico Reservoir and caused slight damage in Greenwich, CT before going out to the Long Island Sound.

It was just one of those days where you miss something by a few minutes. I was actually in Tarrytown getting the mail when the thing was going up the main street in Sleepy Hollow and it started to rain. Then, I was going to go back around the lakes and pick up the Saw Mill again but decided to go down and take Benedict Avenue over.

WHITE PLAINS, July 12 — A reported tornado touched down in central Westchester County on Wednesday, heavily damaging a commercial building on Route 9A, knocking down trees and physically lifting a state trooper’s car and twirling it around.

The twister, first spotted crossing the Hudson River and described as looking like a waterspout, touched down at least twice, according to reports made to the National Weather Service. It moved over the village of Sleepy Hollow, then into the town of Mount Pleasant, where it did the most damage in the hamlet of Hawthorne. It was in Hawthorne that the state trooper, who was driving on Route 9A, encountered the storm.

So, that was a bit of a close call and even going home that night I somehow was lucky enough to avoid all the traffic tie ups resulting from the storm (again not intentionally).

This past week, I was supposed to go into the city on Wednesday. It was another one of those hot days, we actually set a record for the temperature up here with 85° but, I didn’t really pay much attention because I was getting a lot of things crossed off my list and it was a fairly productive day.

Sure, they predicted thunderstorms late in the day but, because I was getting a lot of things crossed off the ol’ list it didn’t register with me. My only thought about the weather was whether or not I would want to take the train into the city and just avoid the hassle of driving through thunderstorms and the accompanying road mess either on the way in or on the way home.

As the day got later, it became obvious I just wouldn’t have the extra time to take the train in and I still had to pick up the laundry. So, I went down and got the laundry and just bagged it and threw it in the trunk figuring to fold it later on in the evening. I started making my way in and at the time I noticed how the sky to the west was getting really, really dark. As a matter of fact, the sky was a deep purple, although you couldn’t see any clouds you could tell there was bad weather on its way.

Oblivious to this, I started my drive into the city making my way through another, very suburban looking part of the village. It’s part of the village where the lawns are always well manicured, and the streets rarely have much traffic on them but, it also serves as a bit of a back way down to another main road which would put me onto the first part of my journey cityward.

Aside from the sky to the west it’s a pretty normal day, there’s a woman standing alongside the curb no doubt waiting for the school bus to pass by and drop off her kid, I pass a pair of kids riding bicycles giving them a wide berth but, as I am driving through the neighborhood, I notice something which in the briefest passing moment strikes me as a bit odd.

I am looking at a tree, all spread out with it’s leaves and silhouetted against the darkening sky to the west and there... is... just... something... about the light on the leaves which seems a little bit off.

Now, I’ve been in situations out in the Midwest where I’ve seen bad weather and anyone who has been through that kind of weather will tell you there is a weird quality to the light. It’s a hard thing to explain to someone until they’ve seen it for themselves but, things take on a strange quality in that light. Thinking back now, the thing that stands out is how the leaves were so amazingly still with not even the slightest hint of a breeze blowing through them. Even so, they were framed by this terribly threatening sky so it seemed odd they wouldn’t be moving a little.

And I drove another few blocks and I got to a part of the village where there is a campus for a fairly well known corporation and a few houses were constructed on the grounds of the campus with everything behind a six-foot red brick wall. The road I was about to turn onto traces the edge of the wall.

I look across the street at a driveway into the walled in complex and there is some kind of septic truck and I notice what appears to be for lack of a better phrase, ‘a dust devil.’ There just seems to be this crazy, frenetic jumble of debris flying about. Dust, leaves, all the loose stuff lying around, moving about with great violence. It’s not a funnel or anything but, things are just twisting and twirling about in a really active way, a way that makes the heart beat a little faster as hardwired and instinctual alarms are ringing somewhere in the back where the reptilian brain is.

Rain starts to come down in thick and sporadic drops.

Plop... plop... plop... plop...

They make a noise hitting the car, a heavy almost meaty quality to the force of the droplets.



I make a left turn, go down a small rise, turning a corner (all the while with the wall to my right) and as get around the corner I come upon a scene that is like an explosion has just gone off. Thick branches are lying about the road, a power pole sits awkwardly over the roadway at an impossible 30° angle and power wires are twisted across the road surface. The sky opens up and it is suddenly like someone turned over a bucket of water dumping the contents all about me. Rain is coming down with such an intensity the cars’ wipers can barely keep the windshield clear and it is hard to even see more than a few feet ahead.

I make a u-turn and find I cannot even retrace my path, branches are down all over and the short five or ten minute ride back to my part of the village becomes a odyssey of picking around downed trees and branches. At some point I know I drive over something big but not having much choice even though I can hear it painfully striking the bottom of the car.

It was that fast.

It wasn’t a tornado though, it was rather something else called a downburst:

A downburst is a column of sinking air that is capable of producing damaging straight-line winds of over 150 mph (240 km/h), often producing damage similar to, but distinguishable from tornadoes. This is because the physical properties of a downburst are completely opposite that of a tornado. Downburst damage will radiate from a central point as the descending column spreads out when impacting the surface, whereas tornado damage tends towards convergent damage consistent with rotating winds.

It’s one of those heart-palpitating events you are happy to survive and it’s the second time in as many years I’ve skirted the edge of some nasty, nasty weather.

No, it wasn’t a tornado, but residents of northern Westchester don’t feel much better now as they cut their way through the trees that came crashing down on their neighborhoods.

Briarcliff Manor’s deputy fire chief suffered a fatal heart attack while helping a neighbor with a downed wire, the only known casualty from Wednesday’s thunderstorms. There were problems that approached being a disaster: Schoolchildren had to scurry for shelter when falling trees and wires trapped their bus in New Castle, and a Katonah mother and her three children somehow avoided injury when two giant oaks collapsed into the living room where they were gathered.

In the storm’s aftermath, residents are left with one big mess, a few thousand residual power outages, and a lot of newfound home repairs. And, yes, more rain is coming. Forecasters were predicting up to 3 more inches of rain for the Lower Hudson Valley, starting before dawn today and lasting, on and off, into the weekend.

But, seriously folks.

“It feels really good,” Jamison said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press. “It’s a good accomplishment. I probably won’t ever kill anything else that big.”

Jamison, who killed his first deer at age 5, was hunting with father Mike Stone and two guides in east Alabama on May 3 when he bagged Monster Pig. He said he shot the huge animal eight times with a .50-caliber revolver and chased it for three hours through hilly woods before finishing it off with a point-blank shot.

I just really like the part where he say how it feels really good and he probably won’t kill anything else that big. Talk about value scales.

The dreadful secret of the Brady Bunch

I came across this and just had to share, it was too funny!

These are a few of my favorite things.

I love the band Cake and this video by the band combines two favorites, Cake music and the Iron Chef!

My goal is to educate!

So, if you have a few moments, take the time out to watch this informative video on the struggle to secure our great nation’s borders. Via Mike Nesmith’s VideoRanch the adventures of Mark Steen Border Patrol!

The difference a year makes.

Last year the Mets and the Yankees both finished tied with the best win/loss record in baseball both teams winding up with a 97 (win) 65 (loss) season.

Even though each team had the best record in their respective league, neither was able to make it out of the playoffs and into the World Series.

This year fortunes have changed and what might have looked good on paper turns out not to be as good as expected and what didn’t look good on paper turns out to be better than expected.

So, where do the two teams stand as of today a week before June begins at what could be considered a third of the way into the season?

Well, the Mets have played 43 games to this point. Their record is 28 (wins) versus 15 (losses) and if they are to match last year’s record they will have to play ten games over .500 the rest of the way going 69 (wins) and 49 (losses). Yes, there are 118 games left in the ’07 seasons and 59 is 118 divided by two so if the Mets can play well over the next few weeks they make their job the rest of the way infinitely easier.

The Yankees?

Well, the Yankees enter today with a 19 (wins) and 23 (losses) record meaning they’ve actually played one less game then the Mets so there are 120 games left in the Yankees season if it is necessary for them to play all of them. If the Yankees are to match the record they posted last season they will have to go 78 (wins) and 42 (losses) the rest of the way or in other words play .650 percentage baseball from today until the end of the season. They need to play 18 games over .500 the rest of the way.

A few years back, when the Mets were being managed by Art Howe, I realized sometime around mid-May the season was over for them. They just didn’t have the horses or the kind of team that could go on a really prolonged win streak necessary to put them into contention.

I haven’t read anything about it but, it was then I started to realize if a team plays really well in April and the beginning of May they can make it much, much easier for themselves over the course of a baseball season. One of those big early season holes becomes insurmountable after a point.

Like I said, I haven’t read anything about this topic anywhere else but, slowly this has become ingrained within me as a theory about baseball. Teams doing well at the start of the season are just going to have an easier time of it. Right now, if you look, Boston with 30 wins only has to play 8 games over .500 the rest of the way to have the same record the Yankees and Mets wound up with last year.

Truthfully it usually takes a little bit more to lead the league in wins whether it’s the American League or the National League but, not a lot more. Anything can happen between now and the end of the season but, like the man said, “It gets late awfully early around here.”

A quick end to global warming.

Global warming has become what the hole in the ozone layer once was in that it is the environmental issue of the moment. It’s the thing we hear about all the time, the issue news organizations focus on, the next great calamity facing us as a species as told by the doom-sayers.

I can’t make sense of it really because as a human being, my life is a blip when measured against the timeline of the planet. Is it warmer now than when I was a kid? Are winters milder? Is the weather more volatile? Maybe, maybe not. Thing is in the scope of the planet’s life it’s hard for me to know whether or not it’s because of something we’re doing or if it just is the normal course of events.

The mere statement above will cause some people to go apoplectic but, I generally want to get all the information I can before making a decision about anything and as far as climate science goes we still have an incredible amount to learn. Something in the histrionics of one side of the argument or another is something I find somewhat off-putting.

The curious thing about the two issues (Global Warming vs. Ozone Depletion) is how they have contrary affects on climate.

Then again, if you are worried about Global Warming, if you really are lying awake at night wondering when the end will come, let me possibly reassure you that Mother Nature could take care of the issue of Global Warming so quickly you would be amazed. Not only that, you might find yourself very unhappy if she did.

Were there to be a volcanic eruption on the scale of Karkatoa or Mount Tambora we might find ourselves in another Year Without a Summer and the prospect of snow in June is an unwelcome one to say the least but, it has happened and will most likely happen again at some point in the future.

The Grant Morrison image of the week.

photo by: DrJoanne on Flickr

The one that got away.

Awhile back I was talking about something I missed out on. In case you think I was joking, I wasn’t. I had been looking into a particular stock.

See, I was thinking about something one day and I started to do a bit of research and found there was a company that was doing what I had been thinking about. So, I looked into the company further, checked out their website, read some articles and was trying to buy some of their stock. I figured it was a growth area and down the road the company would be well-positioned in its market.

The only problem for me was that it was traded on a foreign exchange and the brokerage firm I have my retirement stuff with doesn’t trade on any foreign exchanges. The stock was a little pricey but, I was tracking it for a few months. It had been around $60 per share in December and had gone up around $85. I was waiting for a little market correction to bring it down a little and then would figure out a way to get it. But, it wasn’t an easy thing because to do so would have meant opening up a new trading account that at the time seemed a bit more trouble than it was worth.



Take a look at the chart above. Yep, that’s the stock. If I had gone out and say just bought 100 shares I would be having a really big smile on my face right about now and not worrying about what happened over the rest of the year. In the meantime, I’ve got my eye on two other things that I just picked up and have my fingers crossed. You don’t see charts like that all that often.

Changing spots.

I haven’t really thought much about Leopard as I am quite happy with Tiger and haven’t purchased any new hardware since ’03. Still there is some interesting speculation going on about the delay of Leopard’s release:

One more thing: doing away with overlapping windows in most of the OS would give Apple a marketing bludgeon to use against Microsoft (NasdaqGS: MSFT). In the marketplace of ideas, it would paint Microsoft’s six-years-in-the-making Vista as a completely old school effort. It would take Microsoft's best-known and recognized brand — Windows — and make it appear as tired as DOS. It would be a marketing shot heard round the world — and it would be one that would take Microsoft years to copy.

If you’re really serious.

About helping out the environment and stopping the whole Global Warming thing you might want to look into this:

Designed and introduced in 2002 as an everyday reusable replacement to disposable plastic shopping bags, millions of which are used once and thrown away daily, ACME Bags Workhorse is both stylish and tough. Its unique design is based on the classic plastic shopping bag, but is made of super strong, durable, rip-stop nylon that is virtually tear-proof.

I was reading an article about these things yesterday and couldn’t help but think it might be a good thing to look into. Especially as seeing I spent a good deal of time recently folding up a number of the bags that had amassed in the bag drawer and how a lot of times these things go right into the garbage. First off, plastic of course is generated by petrochemicals and second there is just the concern of the impact these things have on the environment.

Consumers find themselves between a rock and a hard place when it comes to paper or plastic. To find out what is best to do in the grocery store, we turned to Allen Hershkowitz of the Natural Resources Defense Council.

“It depends on where you live,” he says.

Plastic bags threaten wildlife along the coasts, so if that’s where you call home, Hershkowitz says the choice should be paper. In the heartland, he says it’s plastic.

Everytime I hear or read something about this subject, I can’t help but think of the North Pacific Gyre said to be approaching the size of Texas!



NPR’s Scott Simon talks with oceanographer Curt Ebbesmeyer about a giant patch of garbage the size of Texas floating in the Pacific Ocean.

Speaking of Clintons.

There is no denying the strong reaction that comes to them:

For all those who’d like to stick it to her, here’s your chance. For those who are horrified at the thought, be comforted by this: every dollar spent buying this kit is not going to be donated to Ms. Clinton’s political rivals! The kit contains a Hillary Clinton look-alike doll, a book of voodoo spells particularly appropriate for the junior senator, and pushpins.

Another easy out.

Some time ago I was talking to a female friend of mine who has been married a long time. She commented on the fact she and her hubby would occasional get into spats, nothing significant but, annoying nonetheless. You can’t help but be with someone a long time and not occasionally brush up against each other and step on the other person’s toes.

So, I was listening to her and I told her I knew of a way she could win each and every argument she had with her husband. Literally, I told her there was a way she could end every argument immediately and come out on the winning end each and every time.

So, when she heard me say that, she was curious to find out what the way was, what was the secret to managing to be the victor in any spat she may have with her spouse.

Now, I’m going to give you guys the answer. It may sound extremely sexist but, I hate to say it, deep down it’s true and if you catch any man at one of those moments of pure unadulterated truth, he will admit, yes, indeed this does work.

All a woman needs to do to win any argument with a man is to walk over to him, unzip his pants and suck his d*ck.

OW!

Yes, I hear the groans in the gallery. I hear the sharp intake of breath as the shock of the statement settles in but, hear me out.

It is virtually impossible for any man to be angry when he is getting fellatio. If you don’t believe me, try it.

Now, my friend said to me she didn’t want to win an argument that way and while I can understand that, it didn’t make sense. See, this is supposed to be the person you love, the person you cherish and have chosen to spend your life with. This is something no matter who the man, makes a man happy!

If you don’t believe me go ask Bill Clinton.

Unfortunately, we men are ruled by our genitals. Maybe the world would be a better place if that weren’t the case but, it’s true. I think it is something that is hard-wired into us as a species. Something that is there for a reason. It causes men a lot of the time to make some really, really stupid decisions. Like, anytime you ever watch one of those Dateline NBC shows To Catch A Predator? There you go! Stupid decisions motivated almost entirely by a man’s genitals.

Getting back to winning arguments though...

So, my friend said to me she didn’t like winning an argument that way but every guy I spoke to about it later agreed! It’s just very difficult (I was going to say hard but thought better of it) to stay angry when you are on the receiving end of some oral sex. We like oral sex, maybe it isn’t the be all and end all of the whole sex thing but, it certainly is an added plus and you notice it when it’s not part of the menu.

A lot of ladies just beg off the whole oral sex thing though and the other day I was reading something which just seemed to give a woman one more excuse not to do it:

Researchers have linked oral sex to a type of throat cancer, saying that those who engaged in the sexual act with more than six partners over the course of their lifetime were nine times more likely to develop oropharyngeal cancer.

Another f*ck you moment.

Awhile back, I got an email from a friend just after the ’04 presidential election. If you don’t remember some of the rhetoric being bandied about back then this should vividly bring it back to you:

I received this email from a friend yesterday that puts into words what a lot of this country is feeling right now. It moved me and, at the same time, reminded me that there is still hope. MoveOn.org, who worked tirelessly on Kerry’s campaign, also sent out an email that noted “a healthy environment, a strong and fair economy, good schools, domestic safety and the end of the war in Iraq are goals we all share — red states and blue states alike.”

I was also feeling very isolated from my family back home (in a Red State) but received a welcome email form my cousin this morning saying “it’s a shame that so many people seem to blindly follow our leader who continues to make poor decisions both domestic and abroad. How long will it take to repair all the damage that has been caused to economy, environment and relationships with other countries? It is very sad.”

Dear friends,

I have been composing this note in my mind all morning. I guess it’s a sort of concession note, one which I was hoping and praying would be a victory note instead.

This is a very dark day for our country. The unified blindness to the danger that this administration poses to our very way of life and to our lives, is astonishing.

We are now in profound danger of losing everything that this country has stood for for over two hundred years. This disregard for the Constitution (which a President is sworn to protect) and the contempt for individual rights which this Administration has practiced is now only going to increase, as their perception that the American people approve of their actions is now in play.

It baffles me how the idea of “values” seems to have been completely distorted. Pastors around the country stood at their pulpits this past Sunday and urged their congregation to support Bush and his contingent because they represent “family values.” They will get rid of Roe vs Wade, they will prevent gay marriage, they will bring prayer in schools and they will promote faith based initiatives... These issues are just a smoke screen put up to blind people to the fact that this administration has only one true “value” and that is MONEY. This country just sold it’s soul to the devil and doesn’t even know it.

What kind of “values” allowed them to murder thousands of innocent Iraqi civilians, people whose only crime was they were in the way of Dick Cheney gaining control of the Iraqi oil fields and in the way of this administration’s desire to set up permanent US bases in the middle east (that is what they are doing in Iraq, building permanent bases), these people weren't insurgents or terrorists, they were ordinary people going about their lives, children, babies, mothers, fathers, grandparents, farmers, teachers, lawyers and doctors, eating breakfast, going to school, telling their children bedtime stories, when bombs started dropping on their homes, their schools and their places of business. They hadn’t threatened us, they hadn’t attacked us, they hadn’t done anything which justifies their deaths. (And what about the thousands who have been maimed, blinded, orphaned... homeless and jobless, the atrocities our government perpetrated are endless).

This Administration’s “values” are to sacrifice the lives of brave young men and women whose only mistake was to trust their government. Brave and honorable American military personnel who had faith that their president wouldn't put them in harm's way unless it was absolutely necessary. Their lives are being sacrificed for the almighty god “dollar.”

“Thou shall not commit murder...” unless you can justify it with lies. These are the real “values” of this administration, lies, murder and contempt for anyone who disagrees with them.

Trying to find ways around the Geneva Convention (which simply promotes human decency), mistreating helpless prisoners, keeping people imprisoned with no access to counsel (not everyone in Guantanamo Bay and other prisons is guilty, but have no way to defend themselves), this is the kind of behavior we equate with dictators and despots like Stalin and Hitler and yes, Saddam, not with our great American “values” of liberty and justice.

What kind of “values” justify the selling of our nation’s beauty to the highest bidder? The fact that this Administration is willing to sell off forrest which are thousands of years old (some trees where saplings when Christ walked the earth), sell off the glorious beauty of God's creations, plant and animal, for corporate profit and greed is a sin not a “family value.” The fact that they will pollute and plunder this magnificent planet is tragic.

They are selling off our children's future, they are putting our health on the block for the highest bidder. And they are doing it behind closed doors in secret meetings... those are the real “family values” of this Administration, how valuable is your family to their wallets. They rule the country through fear, when the truth is we should be afraid of them.

America is in for a shock when the truth of just how corrupt this Administration is begins to be clear. Because mark my words they are corrupt, “power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely” ...well the blind faith of the people just gave them “absolute power.”

I have a prayer today for the “Presidential Prayer Group,” pray for America’s sons and daughters because their lives have just been put into the hands of monsters...

And grieve with me because our lives are about to be forever changed...

Yours, O

PS Let’s never give up the faith that real “values” will eventually prevail and we will be able to regain some sort of true decency and justice and honor to the concept of being a American. Let's march and write and demonstrate and not go gently into the night! And most importantly never ever give in to the fear and betray your fellows, together we will stand, divided we will fall.

What followed was a flurry of emails between the sender and myself, ultimately ending our friendship (which wasn’t the worst thing in the world). See, I have little patience for drama.

I know we are approaching another one of these ongoing cycles of presidential elections in this country, a cycle which seems to be getting longer and longer for some reason. I imagine if they are going to pass a law banning something in this country, they should pass a law making it illegal to politic for the office of president more than six months before the actual election (and while they are at it they could add a rider about not putting up Christmas decorations before the first week in December).

I got mightily ticked off about this email. Ticked off enough to descend into my alter ego of Mister Cynic and begin poking holes in the whole argument much to the consternation of the sender.

I just fail to see where the political spectrum becomes a zero sum game and if anything I will fight every attempt to make it such. After the ’04 election, the people on the losing side predicted all sorts of doom headed our way (this was very much like what happened after the 2000 election) but, lo and behold here we are in 2007 and we’re still here.

Amazing isn’t it?

Also, the midterm elections if anything proved once again that our system of government does a very good job of course correcting because the electorate voiced it’s displeasure with the executive branch by giving the minority party control of the legislative branch of government.

Imagine that.

If the picture were actually as it had been painted back in ’04 or ’00 we would be well on our way to a fascist dictatorship but, the truth is we’re not.

I like that.

I like that our system for the most part does work. Mind you, there are times when just like anyone else, I’m not particularly happy with the course our country is taking but, I have to figure there is some overall inherent wisdom in the people of this country to recognize when things are going awry and to get angry enough to go out and voice that displeasure through the ballot box.

What is all this about?

Good question because I’m trying to figure out where I’m going with this myself.

I think the point I am trying to get across is, in order for us to have any kind of productive debate in this country, in order for any of us to move forward, it is important that we be able to listen to what the people of an opposing viewpoint have to say and to listen to them with at the very least, the respect we want given to our own viewpoint.

Politics over the last two or three decades seems to have become more about the furthest wings of each of the two parties. I can’t tell you why that is but there’s no denying it’s there.

Why is that?

The whole idea of labeling our country into a neat little divide of red states and blue states is ludicrous in and of itself. When a news network puts a map of states and colors them red or blue aren’t they doing an enormous disservice to the American electorate? Looking at that map, the networks would have you believe the voters in those states all voted together along the same lines and that is hardly the case.

This is a big country, maybe we have a tendency to forget just how big it really is at times. Within our country, there are broad ranges of experiences when it comes to people’s daily lives. The daily life of someone who lives in Brooklyn per se has to be dramatically different as contrasted against someone who lives in rural Montana. Isn’t it important that we recognize our lives are different from one and other but focus on the things which likes and dislikes we have in common?

I was thinking the other day when I read or heard something about gun control.

Oh, I know what it was I was watching the Mitt Romney thing on 60 minutes (don’t even get me started on that).

When I hear the words gun control, what do they mean?

See, I think in rural areas gun-control means ‘no-guns.’ I don’t own a gun or shoot so I am impacted little by the prospect of gun-control but, what occurred to me is when I hear the words gun-control what I think about really is handgun control.

This is a big issue here (if you’re outside the U.S.). The whole talk about guns, who has one, who can get one, who can use one, the licensing process, always becomes a big discussion whenever a major election rolls around. There is always the specter of the second amendment that comes up and the citizen’s ‘right to bear arms’ but, I have less of a problem with a guy bearing arms as much as I have with them concealing arms (baring taking the place of bearing).

So, when we talk about gun control, shouldn’t we use the correct terminology and say handgun control? Why don’t we?

Probably because it’s easier to paint things as good or bad, black or white and it’s something I think we should fight at every turn. My point being the next time you get into one of these debates with someone (and Lord knows they‘ll be happening with more frequency over the next 18 months), can we remember there aren’t any ‘good guys’ or ‘bad guys’ per se as much as there are people with different viewpoints who may be convinced of our argument if we respect and listen to what they have to say.

Think about it.

The blitz.

You can always tell when the warm weather arrives in suburbia. You can tell because weekend mornings are suddenly given over to the basso groan of lawnmowers as the neighborhood struggles towards getting the perfectly manicured look. I imagine this is what London sounded like during the blitz, the shuddering throaty noise surrounding people.

I’m the neighbor you hate. The neighbor who lets the grass grow until it absolutely needs to be cut. I wasn’t always that way but, as the years have passed I find myself caring less about the lawn and more about the overall state of the house in general and there are so many other things to focus on and put my attention towards.

I like this time of year.

I like it because it is a blessing to be able to have the windows open and to have a gentle breeze flowing through the house. I miss that feeling all winter long. Also, nothing beats the warmth of the afternoon sun, it can just cook anything bad right out of you.

Last weekend in another sign of the changing of the seasons, I started to write a very long entry about baseball.

Specifically I began to write about the Yankees and Roger Clemens. I had been watching the game last Sunday when at the onset of the seventh inning stretch, The Rocket made his dramatic announcement to the fans in attendance he was returning to save the Yankee’s season.

My first thought was, we are witnessing the last stages of the saga of Joe Torre.

This is going to get ugly.

Why?

I can’t explain but, I do feel it deep within my bones. Sure, the Yankees need answers but, any true baseball fan would have to agree that Roger Clemens is not one of them. Clemens was being greeted as a savior but, he will probably wind up being the last excuse for George Steinbrenner to show Joe the door.

I’m a Met fan so, what goes on in the Yankee universe means little to me.

I was a big Yankee fan once. I remember the frustration I felt watching players I loved, players who ‘grew’ with the team being treated cavalierly by the organization always looking to the next great free agent acquisition. I finally had enough and that’s what made me decide to switch allegiances.

I have never been upset about that choice because I found everything I loved about the game in being a Mets fan, everything that was disappearing as a Yankees fan. Even when they ran of an amazing 4 World Series titles in five years I wasn’t rueful about my choice.

See, in the world of the Yankee fan, nothing aside from winning it all brings any satisfaction.

It’s not about having a good team or watching great games as much as it is about dominating the sport or crushing the competition. It’s the kind of fervor that seems better suited to football rather than baseball (reminding me of the old George Carlin bit comparing the two sports). Nothing less than winning it all will do and no amount of money is too small to be spent in achieving that goal.

Still, baseball has done something right with the way they’ve structured things given the luxury tax and other elements of the game because since the year 2000, a different team has won the World Series. The Diamondbacks, the Angels, the Marlins, the Red Sox, the White Sox, the Cardinals have all managed to take the crown since the new millennium. It’s been fun to watch and it makes the game more interesting too.

Each year begins with hope (and renewal) for fans in each of the cities hosting a major league team and that’s the way it should be. This year the big surprise is the Brewers and the Yankees who were supposed to dominate everything yet again have struggled mightily - that’s why they play the games because nobody ever won it all on paper.

So, where was I?

Oh yeah, this is probably Joe Torre’s swansong because if the Yankees can’t win it all this year after spending 28 million to get Clemens well, it will be easy to say the manager had every opportunity to win everything and wound up not doing the job.

Is Clemens worth it?

Yankee fans are funny, Randy Johnson actually had two very good years with the team but, was practically run out of town because he didn’t win each and every game he pitched. A-Rod has been booed mercilessly throughout his time with the Yankees and one can only imagine each step towards a record setting year for Rodriguez takes him closer and closer to being in a different teams’ uniform next season.

See, I think the Yankees needed to have a bad year this year if only to shift the focus of the team back onto what got them to the point where they had those great teams of the late 90’s.

Looking back now, the guys who were a big part of those teams weren’t necessarily future hall of famers as much as they were good teammates. I have to respect those teams even more in retrospect but, the thing about them was they weren’t built by going out in the off-season and getting the biggest name in the market.

You would think the Yankees would have learned that by now.

You have a team with Wang, Mussina and Pettitte as three fifths of your starting rotation and once the guys are healthy things will take care of themselves, sans the extra 28 million for a guy who doesn’t even want to travel with the team on the days he’s not pitching.

Every time I watch the Yankees today, all I can think about is how there were a couple of years there when Yankee fans were speculating the Mets should trade Jose Reyes for Rodriguez or Wright for Rodriguez. Then it was either of the two for Alfonso Soriano. What Yankee fans never understood in those discussions was the feeling watching a young player and knowing they are going to be great.

So, the Yankees go out and sign another aging veteran and in my mind I am reminded of the days when the Yankees would go out and sign Pascual Perez, Britt Burns, Ed Whitson or trade for guys like Ken Phelps. You would think they would have learned by now.

Mickey is coming for your ass!

Some things you just have to see to believe:


Personally, I always thought Goofy was the one you had to watch out for but I guess I was wrong:

Just be sure not to f*ck with the mouse.

The surreal fate of Mr. Scott.

I know there have been many Earth-shattering events that have occupied our attention this past week. Certainly there have been more than enough to warrant me playing the hermit for the better part of the last few days. However, one of the things which may have escaped your notice is the strange fate of Jimmy Doohan.

Jimmy Doohan better know as ‘Scotty’ from Star Trek TOS (geek alert) was in the news this past week. It’s amazing how some people can make it into the news even after they’ve passed away:

The UP Aerospace payload included samples of cremated remains from more than 200 people, including James Doohan, who played the role of Chief Engineer Montgomery “Scotty” Scott in the original “Star Trek” series as well as a series of spin-off movies. Doohan died in 2005 at the age of 85.

What the internet brings us.

It brings people the ability to sit in a room somewhere, attached to their computer like it was a morphine drip and spend innumerable hours hurling invectives back and forth at one and other. The surprising thing is we don’t hear of people being shot, maimed or murdered on a daily basis because of something that sprung from an argument conducted on a message board.

Someone was recently telling me a story about a woman who had her own website and was so taken aback by the comments threatening violence to herself and her family she shut the site down and contacted the police who (rightfully so) took the matter quite seriously. At the other end of the spectrum is the current War of the Words raging between Gary Groth and Harlan Ellison (and their various acolytes) over at the Beat.

There is that clichéd image of how nasty and gossipy teen age girls can be but in this case it seems like there is a lot of testosterone in the thread basically with much the same result. This is one of those moments I am so very glad not to have an interest in the winner.

MCCCIII

That‘s right I’ve made it past the thirteen hundred mark for posts and seeing as how a bunch of posts are quite wordy that’s something indeed (although I can’t help but wonder if I hadn’t written a single page of a continuing story for each of those posts I would have quite the novel).

In any event, a few posts back I was talking about how there were a couple of things that threw me last week and I‘d be lying if I backpedaled and said they didn’t but, I also noticed I neglected to mention something else that happened recently - something surprising and cool (leastways by me that is).

I was perusing one of the threads in a Flickr group I belong to, specifically Guess Where NYC. A bunch of the people who belong to the group had gotten together an easily blown away the competition in the first annual Panorama Challenge. Although I missed the event (which I’m sorry about but, which is kind of par for the course with me), one of the things mentioned in the discussion post-event was the fact the city apparently licenses people to be Sightseeing Guides.

A person must have a Sightseeing Guide license to guide or direct people to any place or point of public interest. Note: Licensees are required to comply with all relevant laws and rules, including the Consumer Protection Law. For a copy of the actual law regarding this category, call 311 or come in person to the DCA Licensing Center in Manhattan at the address above.

I was a bit amazed at that even though it made a certain level of sense. Still, one of the posters in the thread commented on having taken the test and gotten licensed.

I took the test and it wasn’t too hard. I did no studying, just walked in and took the test. But it did take 3 hours to finish. (The room I was in is used for all license tests, the electricians and plumbers took less than 30 minutes, the sightseeing license testers took 2+ hours.) They sat me down with this humongous binder of questions. Some of the questions were long and rambling, sometimes up to a page. But the good thing is some of the questions lead you to the answer. The hardest thing about the test was the bureaucracy; waiting on line, filling out forms, very painful.

You should take it. You have nothing to lose.

Well for whatever reason, something about the whole taking a test thing tweaked something in me. There have been a couple of times over the past few years where friends have had people come up to visit the city and have asked me if I would show them around and I’ve found it quite enjoyable because it gives me a chance to show off the city and embrace my inner geek. Also, I get the chance to go and check out some things I had been wanting to check out myself.

So, I took the test.

I had to drop off my car for work someplace a few weeks back and spent the day in the city and made it a point to get all my paperwork filled out and to make my way down to where they give these tests. The bureaucracy part of it wasn‘t altogether that bad, the people were pretty nice to me (it’s amazing how just having a modicum of manners will get you very far in any setting where people’s jobs are dealing with the public all day).I just went in with all my forms filled out and my checks and everything so there wasn’t a lot they had to have me do. It only became a matter of sitting for the test.

Now, given the comments in the Guess Where NYC thread I really though the thing was going to be a cakewalk. I don’t know why but I glossed over the part where the guy said it took him three hours and there were 150 questions. When I finally got into the exam room there was another person taking the test in there and she didn’t look all too happy to say the least. I got the impression she had been in there for quite some time and when she did finish she managed to just squeak by and pass with 101 right out of 150 (97 is passing).

So, I sat down and took this thing.

And it was a bitch! I mean, I don’t know what I was expecting but it covered a lot of ground with topics ranging from Museums to Ethnic Cuisines to History to Commercial Traffic laws! There came a point where I realized, for whatever reason, I was taking this thing on a lark - pass or fail I shouldn’t get stressed about it.

So, 150 questions and I haven’t studied for the thing and I went through it and answered everything in the first pass. I figured what the hell, let me just get it over with. If I fail, I fail. I can always take it one more time without paying and I can study for it the next time with a better idea of what the test is about anyway.

I finished it in just under two hours (maybe an hour and fifty minutes), you can do that when you wiz through something without worrying about consequences. I read the questions and gave each answer my best shot.

And I passed!

I didn’t get 90% or anything, but I did manage to get 111 out of 150 right (74%) and as the years pass I come to realize it’s not about being perfect every time out but managing to finish things. So, I finished it!

And now I am licensed as a Sightseeing Guide for the City of New York!

It’s not like I plan to go into the sightseeing business or anything as much as I did it for the bragging rights but, if you need someone to show you the city on a visit, well you know whom to call.

ACT NOW!

Yesterday was free comic book day and if you missed it, you should take the time out to point your browser over to the Twomorrows website where for the rest of the day they are offering people the ability to download complete issues of a couple of their fine magazines for free!

This weekend only, you can download FREE PDF COMPLETE ISSUES of the following mags, just by logging in and putting them in your shopping cart:

• Alter Ego #65


• Back Issue #21


• Jack Kirby Collector #47


• Write Now #14


• Draw #12


• Rough Stuff #3

My new robot.

So, I am really bad about washing the floors. It’s something I should do every week but I don’t. I procrastinate about it. Mainly because washing the floors is always such a big ordeal, I wind up getting three buckets (one soapy water, one empty and one clean water) just to really give the floor a good scrub instead of just moving the dirt around.

Like I said though, once it’s done it looks great I just don’t do it as much as I should or would like to.

So, I was looking around the other day and I saw this device and decided to plunk down the money and juts get the damn thing and see if it was worth it. Right now I am sitting at the computer while the thing does a pretty decent job giving the floor a good once over. It’s a bit noisy but, I have to admit to being really fascinated watching it make its way back and forth over the floor and circling around making sure the floor gets clean. I am reminded of those small jobbies from Silent Running.


image from the Cult TV Man site (cool site, check it out!).

Incredible new software?

I’ve got this incredible new software that shows how a person will look as they age.

Check it out! I took a picture of Steve Buscemi:

...and aged him to see what he would like like as an old man:


Reminds me of Separated at Birth (really the top photo is Steve Buscemi and the bottom Gollum from Lord of the Rings).

Things to look at.

I ordered a bunch of books last month and they have remained stacked off to the side as other things have occupied my attention these last few weeks. Today, I took the shrink wrap off of one and just thumbed through it for a moment or two before putting up on the shelf with the thought being to come back, sit and savor the thing one rainy afternoon.


Well, that was my original intent anyway after flipping through a few of the pages I am not sure if I can wait for that rainy day, the thing is just that beautiful to look at. I’m talking about DC’s Absolute edition of the Long Halloween. If you haven’t read the Long Halloween before now, don’t spend money on getting back issues or trade paperbacks, this is one of those things where an Absolute Edition really does make it all the more spectacular and even if you have read the thing, you should really check out the Absolute Edition because looking at the artwork large size on good paper is really phenomenal!

TGIF?

This past week was one of those weeks. Not a horrible week, just one of those weeks (and really since it’s Friday and not truly over, I am thinking I had better watch my P’s and Q’s). It started with getting one of those notices about property tax from the mortgage company and ended with finding out the car would need work on it with a number that had the mechanic telling me I could go on an installment plan.

I’m not happy about it.

Certainly, it skews my plans a bit but, giving the scheme of things and the last few years I am blessed with a bit of perspective.

See, it could be worse.

The thing I always seem to be reminding myself of these days is no matter how much life may not fit into whatever picture perfect setting I would like, it could be a lot worse.

The car needs work and it’s going to cost money? Well, at least I have a car and at least I am able to cover it even if I have to go into a hole a little to pay it.

Property tax bill comes in? Well, at least I can say I ‘own’ something that they can even tax me on.

I am trying not to freak out these days when things seem bad because freaking out in the end doesn’t really do you much good. Neither does getting upset or dwelling on something and being negative about it. Yes, if I get knocked down, it’s becoming more a matter of just picking myself up and brushing the dust off of me and then continuing to move forward in the process doing the work necessary to deal with the situation at hand.

The key is to stay focused on a goal and to keep moving forward - some days I make little progress and some days there are tremendous breakthroughs and as long as I remind myself of that and keep working to move ahead, things will be fine.

The best thing about this time of year.

Besides the glorious weather (which we are finally starting to get) is the fact that the sun’s angle during these months changes and the whole front of the house fills with the most glorious sunlight all through the afternoon. Maybe a negative on really hot days but, after so many months of winter it is a tonic to the soul!

Counter programming.

So, I got to thinking the other day I want to be in the business end of television. My first thought was to go to network’s and counter program pitching shows loosely based around already popular franchises. To that end, my first pitch is a new show about a morbidly obese psychic. I call the show - Large.

A constant companion.

I never ceased to be amazed at the benefits I derive from sharing my home with the little, furry beast. As I write this, I am sitting in my office chair in a slouched position as she lies atop me with her head resting on my shoulder. Perfectly comfortable and at peace, she actually snores (or at least the cat equivalent of snoring). When I wake up in the morning she is lying atop me and as soon as I get up for the day she meows a good morning and begins to purr very loudly. I wonder what I could have done to elicit such a joyous celebration on her part but, it never fails to start my day off on the right foot. Sure she spends a great part of the day sleeping but, there are also these times when she is just ‘around,’ in the room or somewhere close by lurking about and making it apparent she likes my company. The funny thing is how some days that’s all you need for it to be a good day.

When photo ops bite you in the ass.

The great thing about the TV age, allowing for the short attention span we as a country have, is when something is news - they cover it up the Wa-Zoo with tons of ink and video devoted to a particular topic.

So it is with the great photo op of four years past when our chief executive looking smart in his flight suit landed on an aircraft carrier and looking very ‘presidential’ announced to the nation ‘Mission Accomplished!’ Four years later there is no stronger indictment of the failed policies of the current administration than having the President’s own words come back to haunt him on the day when he is locked in a battle with Congress over continued funding of the very war over which he declared a resounding victory.

Bush has promised to use his veto power to block any bill containing a schedule for troop pullout, and has urged lawmakers to pass the current proposal to him promptly so work can begin on a new version.

Bush on Monday reiterated his determination, saying the measure would only tie the hands of those running the war on the ground.

“I am about to veto a bill that has got artificial timetables for withdrawal. But that's not the only bad thing about the bill,” he told reporters.

Seems to me if the Mission was Accomplished like the man proclaimed, there are no grounds for his vetoing this bill now is there?

Flip side to this, is I think we should listen to the counsel of the commanders and troops currently serving in Iraq but, I really hate the self-serving kind of media events like the one that took place four years back.

A new Euclidean principle.

Euclid is reknowned for setting forth some of the basic tenets of mathematics in the classical work Elements. However, I have just recently discovered a new Euclidean principle and want desperately to share it with the world.


I was a bit perplexed originally because I had thought what I was witnessing was a form of Chaos Theory but I have since revised my original opinion.

Consequently, I explain to you the principles of what I have termed A-Rod math:

When Baseball’s most talented and expensive player does well (hits, scores runs and fields well) his team loses.

Inversely, when his team does nothing but win, win, win Baseball’s most talented player stinks up the joint.

If Salvador Dali had a hand in designing our roads.

They’d more than likely look like this:

The big f*ck of the day.

So, I track stocks. I’m not obsessive about it but I try to keep watch for the kinds of things I think will provide a lot of growth potential. I’ve been pretty lucky in that I managed to get a few things at the right time following my instincts. Earlier this year I was tracking a stock on a foreign exchange. My broker doesn’t trade foreign exchanges so it was a bit of a problem as I couldn’t find a way to invest without opening an account somewhere else. Well, this stock which I thought was a little pricey at $82 a share (back in January) closed on the 23rd at $1,180 a share!

DAMN!

Mantra?

iChat because iAm?

I can understand the sentiment.

I know what is trying to be accomplished by Congress in the debate over military appropriations currently taking place on Capitol Hill. On one level, it certainly makes sense to examine the direction foreign policy has taken and the use of the military in particular in regard to overseas activity. That we need to have a debate about what is currently happening in Iraq is something we unquestionably need to do as a nation. Entreaties to ‘stay the course’ aside, we should always examine our motives and decisions for actions on the world stage. It’s a good thing.

Personally, I’m getting to the point where I grow weary of hearing comparisons made to Vietnam. However, since we have this brand, spanking new government in Iraq, duly elected by its citizens - I think we are at the point where one of the things we need to put up as part of the referendum before the Iraq electorate is whether they even want us there. Instead of drawing us in ever deeply into a quagmire, we should put it out there before the Iraqi people and make it apparent to them we do not want to stay in there country even one day longer than our help is desired. I think it would be a good thing for the people of both our nations (even if the idea might sound a bit simplistic to some).

It would illustrate our nation has no ulterior motives or designs upon Iraq, putting to rest the biggest objection to our presence there. It would make it clear to the rest of the Arab world we stand behind the ideals we purport to be advocates of. I would think it’s a win-win situation both overseas and here at home. Most of the opposition here in this country is about wasting lives but, are we really wasting lives if people ask us for help?

In the meantime, although Congress may have its heart in the right place, I can see how in some quarters their actions in holding up funding for the troops can be viewed as a betrayal and I would advise Congress to step lightly as this is a very sensitive area. Not only does it affect the health and well-being of people who have sacrificed much in defense of the tenets of liberty but, it could cause the families and loved ones who are praying for them to return great consternation because they find their loved ones are not receiving all the support and protection we as a nation should be offering to them.



I was reminded of this by an email I got from my friend Bill this morning (who has family serving currently). Just a few of the images, which while they were funny underscored there is another way of looking at the battle between Congress and the President and in the end the people who may wind up paying the cost of that battle are the very same people both sides fervently claim to support.

MR. LUTHOR!

“We will have to be careful with it — we wouldn’t want to deprive Earth of its most famous superhero!,” said Dr Chris Stanley, a mineralogist at the Natural History Museum.

Stanley, who revealed the identity of the mysterious new mineral, discovered the match after searching the Internet for its chemical formula - sodium lithium boron silicate hydroxide.

“I was amazed to discover that same scientific name written on a case of rock containing kryptonite stolen by Lex Luther from a museum in the film Superman Returns,” he said.

Aside from the horrid misspelling of Lex’s name, one of those cutesy stories about the discovery of actual kryptonite? That’s not the only typo by the by, I leave it to you to find the second one.

A white knuckle ride.

I have to throw this out there even though I am loathe to make this kind of comment, I just can’t remain silent and I’m really curious about what others think.

Re - Joe Torre: Am I the only person getting the impression that Joe Torre could indeed be fired? There’s been all this turmoil in Yankeeland with Steve Swindal being removed as the heir apparent. Torre’s decision-making process seems terribly askew. Let’s see, we have Andy Pettitte coming in in relief? Twice? In one weekend? Mariano Rivera coming into a game in the eighth inning? If the Yankee bullpen is so weak, why? You‘ve got Colter Bean, Brian Bruney, Kyle Farnsworth, Sean Henn, Jeff Karstens, Mike Myers, Scott Proctor, Luis Vizcaíno if it has come to the point where Joe Torre doesn’t trust his bullpen and need to bring in Andy Pettitte for relief or bring Mariano in early what does that imply for the rest of the season? I understand Hideki Matsui, Chien-Ming Wang, Jeff Karstens, Carl Pavano, Mike Mussina have all been on the disabled list early in the season but, we are still talking about a team with A-Rod, Jeter, Damon, Abreu, Cano, Giambi and Posada on it. That’s 7 out of 9 spots in the batting order, if you’re a Yankee fan you’ve got to be scratching your head and you’ve got to be worried.

What you’ll notice.

If you visit on a somewhat regular basis is that the list of links in the sidebar will continue to grow until it winds up filling out the sidebar. I use the blog sidebar as a form of a traveling bookmark in that I can go to it from wherever I am and surf over to the sites I like checking out without having to go searching or loading my own bookmarks into a public machine. I’ll just keep piling on until the thing is filled up at which time I’ll go through and sort them to some semblance of order. In the meantime, I would advise checking out some of the links because there is some really cool stuff there indeed!

Discouraging.

Last night I was in the midst of composing this long, long post when in the middle of everything the browser just crapped out on me. Pffffftttttt, everything written just gone up in smoke. At the beginning of the week I was compelled to upgrade to the new blogger (which I am still not happy about) and lo and behold the ‘recover post’ button doesn’t show up at all anymore.

I can’t entirely blame blogger though, I am getting to the point where I just hate Safari. It crashes a lot on my machine and I find that just enormously frustrating. I have Firefox also and I continue to be amazed by its portability. The thing I really like about Firefox is that it will ask you if you want to restore a session after crapping out. Since I’m the kind of person who has plenty of windows and tabs open it is a big plus for me.

It’s just force of habit and lack of momentum that has stopped me from switching over to Firefox as a default browser - just the way things work with me I imagine.

In the period of just over a decade I’ve gone from Mosaic to Netscape to Safari. I’ve had and used Explorer and Opera on my machines but found I never really used them much.

At least it’s not like the days when an app crashing would force a restart so I guess I should consider myself lucky.

Culture of sensationalism.

Aside from the pictures, aside from the audio, aside from the words, aside from all the pop psychology and on air analysts who Monday morning quarterback a tragedy. Seeing all the inescapable coverage from the latest media circus and the incessant questioning about why some kind of intervention hadn’t taken place before such a horror came to pass. Hearing how signs were missed and how in the future what someone should see and alert law enforcement to the possibility of. The only thing I can think of is how sad it all is. Sad for the people who were victims, sad for their families but at the same time, sad as well for the family of this misguided person and sad for him too. What a lonely place to be and how much pain to have lashed out in such a violent manner, crying out to be acknowledged somehow - is there any other way to interpret mailing out those materials to a major news organization. There is no justification for such actions, for such a display of random violence but, with all scrutiny we are giving to this event, I question what is going on in our society that we can create these kinds of monsters. Monsters who feel so alienated, detached and ostracized - so disconnected from the world around them. Spree killers and serial murderers, is it America’s equivalent of a suicide bomber, I wonder?

I love it!

11:02 pm, tonight’s episode of Lost just finished and definitely one of the best moments is how they put little throwaway clues in the background for fans to catch. Tonight’s jewel (ranking right up there with the Dharma logo on the shark) was the picture on the desk of the abbot. Desmond in the process of leaving, is being told by the abbot of some great as yet unrealized destiny his life has in store for him and. As they cut back and forth between Desmond and the Abbot, on the Abbot’s desk there is a picture of him with Ms. Hawkins who in an earlier flashback explained to Desmond what his destiny held for him.

The team to beat.

An example of brotherly love as brought to you by the manager of the Phillies.

Speaking of sprees.

Last night, struggling once again to drag myself into the future, I availed myself of the convenience of iTunes and went off and got some ‘new’ music for myself. New in the sense I didn’t have it, not necessarily new in the sense of it being cutting edge current.

Anyway, I went out and got one song which I had heard, liked and after some research found out the name of the song and the group. The song I was looking for was Light & Day/Reach for the Sun by Polyphonic Spree. Well, it turns out they released an EP recently as well that covers Nirvana’s Lithium (click the preceding link to give it a listen) and I have to say, the cover is stupendous. Makes me want to go see them when they tour. The cover sounds a bit to me like Nirvana if the Beatles covered them, really terrific stuff and highly recommended.

Things to remember...

...if you’re ever stopped in New Jersey for speeding (or any other moving violation).

Speeding is an excusable offence if you have a reason for speeding (like say you’re late for an appointment):

Speed must be put into context, “as to whether there was a reason to be going that fast at the time.”

In Governor Corzine’s case it was the context was he was running late, late for a meeting between Imus and the Rutgers’ Women’s Basketball Team. Sounds like a real emergency for the state of New Jersey to me. Who knows what peril will befall the state because of the Governor’s absence at that meeting?

State Police Superintendent Joseph “Rick” Fuentes said the trooper driving Gov. Jon S. Corzine did not realize he was going 91 mph last Thursday night...

Let’s put it this way, you get nailed for driving 91 mph in a 65 mph zone and chances are they are going to take your license away. Take a look at this, pulled directly from New Jersey’s DMV site. You think the trooper was going 91 in a 65, I have a feeling he might have been going even faster but if he was it becomes an even bigger deal (looks at the points). Any driver in a similar set of circumstances could have been guaranteed to face some if not all of the violations below:

statute	description	points
39:4–52	Racing on highway	5
39:4–96	Reckless driving	5
39:4–97.2	Driving in an unsafe manner (points only assessed for the third or subsequent violation(s) within a five-year period)	4
39:4–99	Exceeding maximum speed 15-29 mph over limit	4
	Exceeding maximum speed 30 mph or more over limit	5

Hey, the other rub in all of this is the fact that the governor wasn’t wearing his seatbelt!

New Jersey’s Seat Belt Law: (NJS 39:3-76.2f)

• Applies to all passenger vehicles including vans, pickup trucks and SUV's, that are required to be equipped with seat belts.


• Applies to all passengers, who are at least 8 years of age but less than 18 years of age, and each driver and front seat passenger of a passenger automobile, operated on a street or highway. All occupants are required to wear a properly adjusted and fastened seat belt system.


• Makes the driver responsible for proper seat belt use by all occupants who are under the age of 18.

Seems to me, any driver other than a New Jersey state trooper driving a vehicle in that manner would wind up getting tickets up the wa-zoo and under these circumstance, you would think at the very least the guy should lose his job. I imagine the reason the governor has a State Trooper assigned to him as a driver is to afford him a modicum of protection?

Let us not forget, originally the accident was blamed on a mysterious hit and run vehicle involved in the accident:

Police have said the series of events leading to the accident began when the driver of the red truck saw the SUV’s flashing lights, pulled too far off to the right shoulder to give it room and then jerked back into the roadway, causing the white truck to swerve and strike the governor’s Suburban.

Fuentes, who initially said last Thursday night that speed was not a factor in the accident, had a different analysis today.

“Speed is always a contributing factor in any accident. It goes to the heart of what damage you may have on the vehicle,” Fuentes said in a conference call with reporters.

D’uh!

Still, you have to appreciate the flagrant disregard for the rules of the road by the very people who are charged to enforce them.